Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are critical. We think that service, seva, surrender, compassion, giving (all the beautiful juicy spiritual practices of oneness and connection) mean that we dissolve completely. And spiritually, energetically, we do! We become ONE. And yet, in terms of taking care of our own selves, our individual selves with individual dharmas and karmic packages, we need to remember to include US in the world we are serving. Compassion doesn’t mean for everyone BUT yourself. Seva is not for everyone BUT you. Honoring your own self and your own Self is critical to truly being able to experience Oneness with others. Otherwise, we feel bitter, resentful and are constantly yearning for appreciation and gratitude for our “sacrifices.” But if we have healthy boundaries then the service we do is of LOVE LOVING ITSELF, not because our boundaries have been trampled and we feel compelled.

Just like all the trees we plant need a tree guard around them in the beginning to protect them from dogs and monkeys and elephants when they are saplings, so that they can fully grow and give their oxygen, shade and fruit to the world, so we need to take care of our own boundaries and ensure that we get grounded, anchored, rooted fully and strongly so that we can fulfill our own dharma.

Contrary to popular belief, boundaries are compassionate, loving, caring and IN SERVICE because without them we cannot truly, freely, love or serve another. My freedom to serve comes only when I have taken care of my boundaries….if I feel compelled, resentful and bitter then neither am I benefitting spiritually from the seva nor am I able to truly benefit the world.